


Double Entendre

by youcouldmakealife



Series: Follow the North Star [44]
Category: Original Work
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2019-03-08 17:00:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13462590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youcouldmakealife/pseuds/youcouldmakealife
Summary: “Listen,” Harry says, leaning very close. Like, eye to eye, mano-a-mano, if Liam moved even a centimetre their noses would bump close. His eyes are super super green, which Liam never noticed before. “Roman might tolerate your shit, but I won’t. If you keep on this with my boyfriends you’re going to fucking regret it.”Honestly it’s actually kind of scary, or would be if Liam wasn’t caught on —“Boyfriends?” Liam repeats.





	Double Entendre

Liam doesn’t think about any possible fallout of his brilliant, brilliant plan until Mike brings it up. Not Victor, not Val, his ‘collaborators’, as Mike’s calling them, because he’s pretentious and won’t accept ‘minions’, but Mike. Mike, who claims not to give a shit, but says, over dinner, voice very even, “You know you fucked with people’s lives, right?”

“Huh?” Liam says, through a mouthful of quinoa, then, after he swallows, “You talking about my master plan again?” He’s shocked. Usually Mike wants to get off the subject of Liam’s teammates as soon as possible. Liam guesses the whole felony thing made a difference. Maybe if he commits more felonies Mike will pay more attention to his gossip.

“I’m talking about the fact you have no control over what happens now,” Mike says. “And that you put them in a really fucking loaded situation.”

“And then they banged it out,” Liam says. “All fixed.”

“Yeah,” Mike says. “And now that they’re back in real life, what happens? Connelly and Chalmers stay together and Novak’s still on the outs? It fucks with all three of them and they all end up resenting each other and all end up alone? You don’t know what the fallout’s going to be.”

“But I—” Liam says. “They definitely all fucked. I told you about the underwear and the condoms.”

“Sex doesn’t fix shit and you know it,” Mike says. “Usually it just makes things more complicated.”

“I—” Liam tries again, then sags. “Well now I feel like an asshole.”

“How is this just occurring to you now?” Mike asks.

“You know I don’t think my decisions through!” Liam says. “That’s like literally how our relationship started!”

“From what you tell me, you were doing a lot of thinking before that,” Mike says, the slightest edge of a smirk curling the corner of his mouth. Liam fucking loves that smirk. Liam would be all over that smirk if he didn’t feel kind of shitty right now.

“Fantasizing about you fucking me doesn’t count as thinking things through,” Liam says. “Or I’d be the most thinking through thinker of all thinkers through.”

“Do you listen to yourself when you talk?” Mike asks.

“Not usually,” Liam says, which earns himself a reluctant snort.

Liam texts Val while Mike does laundry, grumbling so loudly about Liam leaving his stuff unwashed in his suitcase that Liam can hear him all the way from the living room, and telling him there’s no fucking way he’s washing them for him, which Liam doubts. Leaving dirty clothes in the laundry room would bug him way more than doing Liam’s laundry would.

 _does connie seem ok to u?_ Liam texts Val.

 _hes not here dont know_ , Val texts back, and then just sends Liam a shrug emoji when Liam asks where he is.

 _text and ask him where he is_ , Liam texts back.

 _not his mama_ , Val replies, because he’s a useless minion.

“Did no one ever teach you to do chores?” snipes Mike as he comes into the living room, because he apparently _is_ a mama. Though Liam knows better than to say that out loud.

Liam raises his feet up, and Mike settles in the space he leaves, digging his thumbs in Liam’s calves when Liam complains they’re sore.

*

Liam’s on a mission, coming into practice. First step: surveillance, gathering information, seeing if he’s actually fucked things up or not. If he has, he’s not actually sure what he’s going to do, how he’s supposed to fix that, but in the meantime, surveillance to determine whether or not he has to worry about that. Liam can surveil the shit out of things.

Surveillance ends up being way easier than he thought it would be, because Roman and Connie and Harry and Val all come in at the same time, which is suspicious. 

Harry and Connie and Val carpooling? Liam can easily see that. Roman carpooling with Connie and Val? Liam could have seen that until recently, and things seemed…worked out…after Liam’s successful implementation of Val’s plan. But Roman and Harry voluntarily doing anything together (except sleeping together, Liam snickers to himself), that’s interesting. Maybe they fucked out the drama? Maybe — Liam squints — maybe they’re _still_ fucking out the drama.

Liam waits until they all peel off into their respective spots before he corners Val.

“Big group you came in with there,” Liam says.

“Huh?” Val asks.

“You drove in with all three of them?” Liam asks. Hopes. Maybe they just met in the parking lot.

“Evan had to come home to change,” Val says. “Harry gave us ride after.”

“Where’d you pick up Roman?” Liam asks.

“Was there all along,” Val says.

“With Connie and Harry?” Liam clarifies.

Val nods.

Suck it, Mike, Liam’s plan was _perfect_. You don’t keep spending the night together if everything’s fucked up. You _especially_ don’t have visible marks from that night, which Roman does. Liam squints around when everyone’s getting changed, and Roman’s sporting a mark on his skin, somewhere between red and purple. It’s too small, perfectly shaped to be a bruise from hockey, and it’s a weird location for one anyway, just above his collarbone in the meat of his shoulder. It definitely wasn’t there before they came home, because Liam would have noticed. Collecting evidence is important.

Liam tries to picture Connie biting Roman, and can’t. Like, secret depths and all, but if he tries his brain fizzles. Can’t do it. Does not compute.

Liam saunters over Roman-ward. Well, he walks with purpose, but he tries to act like he’s just wandering in that general direction.

“Fitzy,” Roman says warily, so Liam guesses it didn’t work.

“Man, you’re not even trying to be subtle,” Liam says.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Roman says. He’s actually a pretty good liar. Most people would believe him.

“Is that a hickey I see?” Liam asks, reaching out to poke it. “Or is it a bite mark?”

“Stop that,” Roman says, swatting at Liam’s hand.

“I knew Chalmers would be a biter,” Liam says, low. “He’s definitely the type.”

Roman, to his complete and utter delight, goes _crimson_. 

“Confirmed!” Liam crows. “Oh shit, totally confirmed.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Roman hisses, looking around.

“I’m offended,” Liam says. “I have tact. I have discretion. I have—”

Roman’s snort is way rude. Liam pokes him in the bite mark again in retaliation.

“Fuck off,” Roman says, smacking Liam’s hand, and they’re mid-hand slap fight when Michaels loudly tells them to get changed and stop setting a bad example for the kids.

“I’m a great example,” Liam says, but he’s the only one still completely dressed, so he better get on that before he’s late to practice. Coach doesn’t have a lot of patience for that.

 _they totally had another threesome_ , Liam texts Mike first, though. _so there._

 _We’re not having a threesome_ , Mike texts back almost immediately. Or like, ten minutes later, and Liam doesn’t get it until after practice, but that’s basically the Mike version of immediately.

 _obviously._ , Liam texts him back. _you’d end up going to jail for 1st degree murder._

 _It’d be second degree murder_ , Mike has texted back when he gets out of the shower. _First degree murder is planned in advance._

Liam snorts. 

“What’s so funny?” Findlay asks him.

“My boyfriend’s threatening to murder anyone who touches me,” Liam says.

“Oh…kay,” Finds says, then scoots away a good foot.

 _such a sweettalker_ , Liam replies, adding a kissy-face emoji for the sole purpose of bugging Mike. Mike doesn’t like emojis. They bewilder and frighten him.

Liam adds an eggplant for good measure.

*

They have a bare few days at home before they’re taking off again on yet another roadie. It’s not a super long one, but Liam’s pretty sick of them, and they aren’t even halfway through the season. Better to get the majority of their away games out of the way early, he guesses, and their away record’s been pretty great, but he misses Mike already. It’s like jet lag or something — it takes Liam awhile to get over missing Mike, and he didn’t get enough prolonged Mike exposure when they were home to make up for the Mike deficit, so he leaves already missing him. Still missing him.

Well, he’ll have to keep himself distracted from it somehow. Luckily, there are major signs that the trio are still banging it out, and that’s _super_ entertaining.

“Hey,” Liam says, taking the spot beside Roman on the plane.

“Hey,” Roman says, wary again. Such distrust. Liam’s hurt.

“I was curious about something,” Liam says.

“Oh boy,” Roman mutters.

“Is Harry physically capable of shutting up long enough to give head or—”

Roman claps a hand over his mouth. He doesn’t even flinch when Liam licks his hand. Guess he’s getting acclimated to him. That’s bittersweet.

“Fuck!” Roman yelps, jerking his hand back and cradling it against his chest.

“I bite too,” Liam says cheerfully.

“I fucking noticed,” Roman says.

“Does Harry—” Liam starts.

“I swear to fuck I’m reporting you to Findlay again,” Roman says.

“I think we broke him, honestly,” Liam says. “I doubt he even cares anymore.”

“ _We_?” Roman asks. “ _We_ broke him?”

“I mean, I’m not the one sexually…sexing my teammates, so,” Liam says. “If you think about it, it’s actually more your fault than mine.”

“Yeah, but Finds doesn’t know — sexually sexing, really Fitzy?” Roman asks.

“I stand by what I said,” Liam says.

“Go sit somewhere else,” Roman says. “Before I kill you.”

“No,” Liam says, and plants his feet on the ground and his arms on both armrests, bracing himself so Roman can’t budge him. “You’re stuck with me, deal with it.”

“Don’t I get a choice in this?” Roman sighs, but like, rhetorically, Liam assumes, because obviously not.

*

Liam isn’t sure what the sleeping arrangements are with the former rookies now that they’re on the road, whether they’re sticking with their roomies, or quietly switching, or all piling into Roman’s room behind management’s back, but someone _definitely_ got laid last night. 

Connie’s got the thin red imprint of scratches on his back, visible from halfway across the room as they change for warm-ups. If it was literally anyone else on the team, everyone would be noticing and talking smack — well, except Liam, they don’t bug Liam about any marks he reps proudly, because they’ve all learned the hard way Liam is not only unembarrassed by them, but _happy_ to tell them about their origins. He’s a little disappointed everyone quit bugging him about them.

Liam doesn’t know if they all just assume it’s something that has a non-sexy explanation because it’s Connie, or if they figure it’s sex related but don’t want to bring it up because they’re afraid Connie might spontaneously combust, but it’s all willful obliviousness up in here. Well, all willful obliviousness except for Victor. Liam sees him notice them and blanch, before studiously looking basically everywhere else.

Liam swoops in on him. “Give you a hundred bucks to chirp Connie about those scratches,” Liam offers.

“Not even for a grand,” Victor says, because he is zero fun.

“And a batch of cookies?” Liam bargains.

“Not even for cookies,” Victor says. “Because I’m a good friend.”

“You’re a buzzkill, is what you are,” Liam mutters. “Hey Val, come here!”

“Val’s not doing it either,” Victor says, and stands right behind Val with his arms crossed and his face stony until Val nervously refuses as well, even when Liam adds truffles and cupcakes to the bribe.

Liam sighs. Sometimes a man has to do all the work himself, because his minions are useless.

Liam claps Connie on the back on his way over to his stall. “ _Nice_ ,” he says, and watches, fascinated, as Connie’s face goes from confusion to comprehension to utter mortification.

*

Liam wonders if Victor and Val had an idea of the consequences of chirping Connie, and that’s why they ducked out, not for any noble reason, like Victor claimed, but just straight up fear. Cowards. And jerks for not telling him.

“You,” Harry says, somehow catching Liam alone at the hotel bar after the game. It was a win, so they’re cellying, but Liam isn’t the only one who seems to be sick of traveling, so they’re keeping it mellow.

The thing is, Liam could _swear_ he was not alone ten seconds ago. He has no idea where everyone went. 

“Me,” Liam says, fearlessly. Fearlessly, and naively. “What can I do for you, angry small man?”

“I’m like three inches taller than you,” Harry sputters.

“Can still bench more than you,” Liam says. 

Harry sits down with a thump across from him, all huffy and offended, like a bird that puffs up its feathers when it’s miffed.

“Where’s your entourage?” Liam asks. “Or should I say your double entendre?”

“What?” Harry says.

“Like double entendre because dirty but also there are two of —”

Harry continues to look blank.

“Forget it,” Liam mutters. _Roman_ would have got it. “Your menage a trois? Do you know what that means at least?”

“Is this the shit Roman’s been dealing with?” Harry asks.

“I mean,” Liam says. “Not really. I’m way worse with Roman.”

“No wonder he’s about to strangle you,” Harry says.

“He loves me,” Liam says dismissively.

“Listen,” Harry says, leaning very close. Like, eye to eye, mano-a-mano, if Liam moved even a centimetre their noses would bump close. His eyes are super super green, which Liam never noticed before. “Roman might tolerate your shit, but I won’t. If you keep on this with my boyfriends you’re going to fucking regret it.”

Honestly it’s actually kind of scary, or would be if Liam wasn’t caught on —

“Boyfriends?” Liam repeats.

“Fuck,” Harry mutters, then, “That’s not the point.”

“That is so absolutely the point,” Liam says. “I did it! I made you all boyfriends! Mi— my boyfriend can suck a dick!”

“Hey,” Harry complains. “Listen to me when I’m threatening you.”

“Sorry,” Liam says. “Threaten away.”

Liam regrets saying that that very quickly. He did not realise Harry could get closer. “Fitzgerald,” he says. “Listen very closely to me.”

Harry is…more creative than Liam expected. Very creative. Very, um. Graphic. And not in like, the fun way _Liam_ is graphic. Liam doesn’t like this kind of graphic.

“I need those,” Liam whimpers, squeezing his legs together.

“You won’t when I’m through with you,” Harry says. “So, you going to lay off?”

“…‘kay,” Liam says. 

“Good,” Harry says, and slaps Liam’s shoulder with a disturbing amount of force before he pulls away and Liam can breathe again.

*

“Fitzy,” Roman says, the next morning at breakfast. He’s always the first one up, and Liam set his alarm specifically to catch him alone.

Liam sits down across from him.

“I don’t want to—” Roman starts.

“I’m going to leave you alone about your kinky threesomes now,” Liam says.

“Uh, thanks?” Roman asks. “But seriously, isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black? Fuck knows what you and Mike get up to.”

“You want to?” Liam asks, leaning in, and ducks before Roman can land the flick that’s coming his way.

“What’s got you leaving me alone?” Roman asks. “And don’t tell me it’s out of the kindness of your heart.”

“I have a lot of kindness in my heart,” Liam argues.

“Uh huh,” Roman says.

“A lot,” Liam says, then, “Your tiny boyfriend is way scarier than you are.”

Roman’s mouth tips up. “Harry threatened you, huh? Really, you’re more afraid of Harry than you are of me?”

“You’re a marshmallow,” Liam says. “Him? I have no idea what he’s capable of.”

The smile transforms into a smirk. “I do,” Roman says. “Smart choice, Fitzy.”

“How are you the least scary of your boyfriends?” Liam asks. Like, look at the man. Guy probably outweighs _Mike_. He’s built like a mac truck. And it’s the grumpy leprechaun Liam fears.

“Oh come on,” Roman protests. “I’m at least scarier than Connie.”

“Connie wouldn’t do anything,” Liam says. “But then I’d have to deal with you coming after me. And Harry. And Victor. And probably Val.”

In hindsight, Connie’s the scariest of all of them.

“Okay, fair,” Roman says.

“Anyway,” Liam says. “Truce. No more jokes about your threesomes, and no more Rookie Detective shenanigans. For the safety of my balls.”

“No more shenanigans,” Roman agrees, and takes Liam’s outstretched hand. “For the safety of your balls.”

*

It doesn’t last.


End file.
